Fresh Paint
Wednesday, June 30, 2004
How They Do It
See, this is how they do it: you go in for the oil change and they find a little rattle, so they scare you to death and tell you that it could be 1500, maybe even 4000 dollars if the pistons pull loose and drive their iron shafts through the hood into your brain, or chains whip the bejesus out of the damn engine or something because you are about 500 miles over when you were supposed to get an oil change, so you say, just do the oil change and see what happens, thinking on how you can get someone to steal the damn car and drive it downstate so the insurance will pay up, and 2 hours later, sitting there nowhere near a bus line, they come back and they tell you, good news bad news, the oil change won't make the problem go away completely and there's belts or whips or something and valves and oil leaking all over and good news is it's only 350, maybe 400, and we can have it done by 5:30.

You are captive, they have your car in pieces, so what do you do? What can you do, besides rerun those Rambo fantasies? And then when you go back to get the car, you find it's only 300.99, and you're so happy, and the car runs great, so you feel relieved that it was less than they told you, and every guy out there is now laughing and laughing and laughing, knowing how royally I just got screwed.

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