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Fresh Paint
Wednesday, April 21, 2004
 
Oh, Puleeeze!
John Kerry Releases Military Records
By NEDRA PICKLER, Associated Press Writer

WASHINGTON — Records of John Kerry's Vietnam War service released Wednesday show a highly praised naval officer with an Ivy League education who spoke fluent French and had raced sailboats -- the fruits of a privileged upbringing that set him apart from the typical seaman.
Uuuuuuuhhhh.... Nedra, the records show a few other things that might be more important to put in the LEAD PARAGRAPH of an AP news piece that will most likely be picked up by thousands of inattentive editors who will chop everything else out.

I believe you're slipping, however. You left out, "liberal." You forgot to mention "Massachusetts." Surely you could have worked these references in somewhere?

Dear Associated Press:

I realize Mr. Bush gave you a wonderful little speech at your lovely annual meeting today where he told you that presidentin' was hard work, 'cause the country is big, but do you have to flaunt your political ownership quite so much by assigning Pickler to this story?

Regards, (Increasingly) Cynical


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